MB#15: 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙎𝙞𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙍𝙪𝙡𝙚 𝙈𝙮 𝙁𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙏𝙖𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙈𝙚.

[MemoirBlogthon #15] In 1970, after a chaotic year of moving between three different schools, I failed the crucial 10th-grade public examination. Surrounded by family disappointment, I broke down, but my father offered no judgment. Instead, he taught me the 70-10-20 Rule: 70% is how you react, 10% is what happens, and 20% is what others think. This single conversation turned my biggest academic failure into a lifelong formula for resilience, a principle I now use to guide my grandson through his setbacks.

The 70-10-20 Rule: How My Father Taught Me Resilience After I Failed 10th Grade

The academic year 1969–70 was a chaotic blur. Due to my father's transfers, I studied the crucial 10th class (SSC) in three different schools—Children’s Montissory, Hindu College High School, and Vivekananda Centenary High School—moving every three months. The psychological impact of new teachers, new classmates, and new environments proved too much for the academic rhythm required for a public exam.

When the results for the March 1970 public examination were published, the heavy feeling of disappointment was overwhelming: my roll number, '16882A,' was nowhere to be seen. I had not succeeded.

MB#15 Beyond the Report Card

The Math of Resilience

I walked into our living room, bracing for the weight of expectation and disapproval from my family. As I shared the news, the room filled with silence and expressions of disappointment. But my father's eyes told a different story; he looked concerned but not judgmental.

He called me to sit down, let me vent my emotions, and listened patiently as I broke down, feeling like a failure. After I finished, he introduced me to a principle he wanted me to remember forever: the 70-10-20 Rule.

He explained the formula of resilience:

70% of life is about how we react to situations. (The most crucial part, which we control.)

10% is about what happens to us. (The external event, like a failed exam or a job loss.)

20% is about what others say or think about us. (The noise that doesn't define our worth.)

My father told me I couldn't control the outcome of the exam (the 10%), nor could I stop my family's mixed emotions (the 20%). But I had absolute control over the 70%: my attitude, my effort, and my resilience. He reminded me that one failure didn't define my worth.

The Wake-Up Call

He then shared stories of his failures and how he had overcome them through perseverance and hard work. His words weren't just comfort; they were a wake-up call. I realized I didn't have to let the disappointment of others define me. I could choose to use this experience to learn and grow.

I decided to take charge of my 70% and immediately set my goal: passing the supplementary examination in October 1970.

I resumed my studies, enrolling with a tuition teacher who quickly endorsed my father’s principle. My tutor began applying the 70-10-20 Rule to other students who had failed the exams, calling it the "best motivation."

Despite the loss of a valuable academic year, I worked hard and successfully passed the subsequent attempt with renewed determination. The failure was directly linked to the circumstance of constant shifting, which my father implicitly acknowledged.

The Formula for the Next Generation

The crucial contrast is that the principle I learned from that single, painful event proved invaluable throughout my life. I remember and rely on the 70-10-20 Rule every time I approach a difficult challenge, whether for undergraduate, postgraduate, or professional examinations. It truly worked beyond my expectations.

Decades later, the lasting legacy of that moment of failure is the philosophical formula itself. I use my father's rule to mentor my grandson today, whether he's facing defeat in a football match, a coding game, or a school exam. Resilience, which my father defined as the ability to bounce back like a rubber band, is the greatest lesson I inherited from my SSC failure, thanks to the wisdom of the 70-10-20 Rule.

MB#15: Quiz

MB#15: Question: What major academic setback did the author face in 1970 after a chaotic year of school changes?

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• A. Failing the college entrance exam.
• B. Failing the 10th-grade public examination
• C. Dropping out of the 12th grade.
• D. Failing his professional certification.

MB#15: Quote

"Failure is not the opposite of success; it’s part of success." – Arianna Huffington