MB#80: 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙈𝙖𝙣-𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙈𝙖𝙩𝙘𝙝: 𝙎𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙜𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙎𝙪𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙎𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙘𝙝 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙖 𝘽𝙧𝙞𝙙𝙚.

[MemoirBlogthon #80] Working as a bank cashier in 1983, I was inundated with marriage proposals after placing an ad that drew over 200 replies. Yet, the choice was governed by my father's careful adherence to the family's traditions and the values I had espoused in a 1973 newspaper interview. My heart was set on a working woman, but my father insisted on a prospective bride he'd found—a brilliant, meritorious graduate. This blog details the suspense of the search, the week-long hesitation, and the night my father, using sharp logic (academic merit, family fit, and potential for future study), convinced me that his 'man-made match' was far superior to any dream alliance.

MB#80: Andhra Bank, Kamavarapukota village: My first bank account passbook. I was interviewing a bank beneficiary, helping the AIR recording team while other staff of the bank looked on.

The Eligible Bachelor and the Matrimonial Tidal Wave

In 1983, while working as a bachelor cashier in Andhra Bank in the quiet village of Kaamavaravapu Kota (a village of about 5,000 people with only one movie theater). It's located 100 km from Vijayawada. I was squarely in the marriage market. Proposals poured in, not just from bank colleagues but also in response to a matrimonial ad I placed in a Telugu weekly magazine. For one ad, I received over 200 replies—a tidal wave fueled by my stable bank job, fair complexion, my father being a government engineer, our own house in Vijayawada, and the appeal of a decent, vegetarian Brahmin family with siblings settled abroad.

My parents were keenly aware of my public commitment, as stated in a 1973 newspaper interview, that I intended to marry by parental choice. While I was curious to marry a job holder, my father never objected but prioritized finding a girl who would flawlessly suit the aspirations and traditions of our family, particularly my mother.

The Weekend Trip and the First Impression.

I maintained a rigorous schedule, traveling a hundred kilometers from Kaamavaravapu Kota to Vijayawada every Saturday and returning by Monday morning. One weekend, upon my arrival, my father delivered an exciting piece of news: we were going to see a bride at a relative's place in Vijayawada. This was significant, as three prior visits had failed to meet my parents' aspirations. My father strictly advised me not to fix any appointments for movies or entertainment, signaling his serious intent.

Sunday arrived, and I accompanied my parents to the designated house. The prospective bride's family, surprisingly, lived in a village named Balantram in our ancestral district of East Godavari in Andhra Pradesh. Her brother, a school teacher, introduced the girl: a 'distinction-level graduate,' brilliant, and accustomed to shuttling to a neighboring town for her studies. They possessed agricultural properties and their own house. He showcased her academic achievements and even sports winnings.

The Convincing Hand of the Father

My parents were instantly impressed, recognizing that the family traditions and aspirations matched ours perfectly. However, the girl was 'not a job holder,' which didn't meet my core wish. I decided to reserve my decision. A crucial one-to-one meeting for one hour was arranged between me and the girl that same day, which helped me to analyze the match further.

Back at home, I maintained suspense for two weeks, hoping I might still receive a proposal from a bank-employed girl. My mother, who already considered the girl her daughter-in-law, was insistent. My father then took the initiative, pulling me aside for a private discussion on Sunday night, demanding to know the reason for the delay. He laid out his strategic arguments:

1. Family Fit: The girl was the youngest in her family and would be our eldest daughter-in-law—an ideal fit for managing responsibilities.

2. Potential Employment: Even though she wasn't currently employed, her "academic brilliance and merit" meant she could write the bank exams and fulfill my desire later.

3. Academic Support: Since she was strong in academics (compared to my own academic journey), she would be an invaluable helping hand in my career pursuits, such as preparing for my CAIIB and the Company Secretary examinations.

I was convinced. My father’s rational, long-term strategic view proved superior to my short-term desire for immediate employment. The alliance was agreed upon.

My father's decisive arguments proved that this match was indeed made on earth. The final details, including the wedding compromise and the post-marriage academic victory, are documented in MemoirBlogthon #81.

MB#80: Quiz

MB80 Question: What was the author's primary requirement for a bride that the girl initially did not meet?

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• A. She should belong to a village family.
• B. She should be a job holder.
• C. She should be strong in sports.
• D. She should be the eldest daughter.

MB#80: Quote

"Marriages are not made in heaven; they are made on earth and managed with wisdom".