MB#81: 𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙈𝙮 𝙁𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙒𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙇𝙚𝙜𝙖𝙘𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙖𝙣 𝙄𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙡 𝘿𝙖𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙚𝙧-𝙞𝙣-𝙇𝙖𝙬.

[MemoirBlogthon #81] I agreed to the alliance, but I was reluctant to hold the wedding in the bride's remote village, Balantram, preferring my social circle in Vijayawada. My father tactically overcame my objection by appealing to sentiment—the wish of the 90-year-old grandfather—securing the village as the venue. This small compromise earned me a free hand to manage the wedding logistics, from invitations to video recording. This blog details the charm of the traditional village hospitality, the subsequent grand lunch in Vijayawada for 300 guests, and the ultimate victory: my wife's academic support, which led to my CAIIB distinction and her becoming a fellow professional who assisted me in my practice. This proven partnership was my father's greatest legacy.

MB#81: The Village Wedding and Visits to Vijayawada to Spend Time With Parents.

The Compromise and the Village Wedding Venue

Having agreed to the alliance, I presented my primary hurdle: I did not want the wedding held in the bride's village, Balantram. My entire circle of friends and well-wishers was in Vijayawada, and many would not travel to a remote village to attend.

My father, the great negotiator, tactically countered this objection. He explained that the village setting was the earnest wish of the bride's 90-year-old grandfather, insisting that we honor this sentimental factor. With some hesitation, I agreed to the compromise on the venue.

In return for my flexibility on the venue, my father gave me a free hand in managing the logistics that mattered to me:

Invitations: Deciding the drafting of the wedding invitation in both Telugu and English.

Media: Arranging for a photographer and video recording of the event, engaging a crew to travel from Vijayawada to the village.

The wedding took place on June 18, 1983, in Balantram village, at the bride's family residence. Though my father was retired, his loyal former colleagues attended, alongside a large number of relatives, and my close friends Hari and Prasad from Vijayawada. They all witnessed the incredible village hospitality and the strict traditional rituals. My father especially appreciated the local tradition of the procession of the newly wedded couple in a decorated jeep, piloted by a musical band, showcasing the wedding to the locals. The rich food and strict adherence to the traditional procedures added immense glitter to the event.

The Vijayawada Feast and the Academic Partnership

Post-marriage, my father ensured that my local circle was honored. He arranged for a Satyanarayana Vratham (a ritual for newly wedded couples) at our house in Vijayawada, which included a lunch hosted for about 300 people—local well-wishers, friends, and relatives who could not attend the village ceremony.

The true success of my father’s "man-made match," however, unfolded in the years that followed:

Academic Support: My wife immediately became my academic tutor, preparing notes for me as I pursued the Bank examination. She was directly responsible for my obtaining a distinction in the CAIIB (Certified Associate of the Indian Institute of Bankers) examination on the first attempt.

Professional Parity: After my entry into the main profession (company secretary), she pursued her own education, completing a postgraduate degree in commerce (M.Com) followed by the ICWA (cost accounting) examination.

The Earning Partner: Though eligible for a full-time cost accounting role, she preferred to assist me in my home office as a practicing company secretary. Both of us worked together, thus fulfilling my lifetime desire that my wife should be an earning and contributing person in the family.

My wife, the youngest girl in her family, seamlessly became the eldest daughter-in-law in ours, taking on many family responsibilities and supporting my parents until their last breath. My father was immensely happy to have such a daughter-in-law, proving that his strategic match, guided by merit and compatibility, was a lasting legacy that truly brought heaven to earth.

MB#81: Quiz

MB81: Question: Why did the author initially object to the wedding venue being in the bride's village, Balantram?

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• A. The village was too remote for government officials.
• B. His social circle in Vijayawada might not attend.
• C. The village could not provide adequate catering.
• D. The bride's family house was too small.

MB#81: Quote

"The greatest happiness on earth is found in marriage, but a true partnership requires the effort of both individuals." – Adapted from George Eliot